Most every day, we at VIM Executive Coaching encounter a potential business coaching client who leads with “I’m afraid, I’m not very successful.”
It is, frankly, hard to hear. Those making those rather harsh assessments are typically lovely people, with a lot to say, who are kind and compassionate. Most of them are not defined by their jobs and several are quite active in their communities and committed to doing their part to make this world a better place in which to live.
Right person, wrong assessment
However, the assessment of personal failure shared by so many these days, is not so much a matter of a personality flaw but something that runs deeper into the life the executive has chosen. It is easy for anyone to take the blame for a lackluster career, or low compensation (that in and of itself, is an elusive target we will explore), or poor benefits or even co-workers who are less than ideal, however the admission that almost never comes to the fore is the lack of authenticity.
Executive leaders can go through an entire career without one moment of job satisfaction. The leaders may have benefitted from the trappings of success, but they confide as to their misery in never having been true to themselves.
VIM Executive Coaching cannot tell you what constitutes “success” in your life, nor are we psychologists who can offer our viewpoints on personal happiness, but we can ask: “Are you being authentic?”
What is it like to be faithful to yourself? We don’t know. However, you do. We know that the issue of compensation we brought up earlier is literally chasing fool’s gold. We have had coaching clients who made what many might consider radical career moves: a veterinarian who became an architect; a financial services executive who now conducts antique car auctions; a nurse who works in the gourmet food business and an architect who is a widely respected personal trainer. These are an incredibly small sampling of those who decided to embark on a road to authenticity.
Our point here is that when anyone is convinced, they are “failures,” a word (we’ll say it again) that disturbs us, they are making the wrong assessment and asking the wrong questions of themselves and of their lives.
What do you consider success?
Generally speaking, the business coaching clients we work with, can list “volumes” on everything they consider to be their failures; mess-up’s; wasted opportunities and disappointments. What they often have trouble doing, is to define what they consider success. This is a direct result of the “authenticity problem.” If an executive leader has no idea of who they are, how can they possibly know what they want?
What do you consider success? It is an honest question that all too often executive leaders never ask of themselves.
Yes, we know that often “life gets in the way,” but it often doesn’t if we are authentic enough to answer the question. Perhaps it is time for you to ask that question of yourself.