This is a true story, albeit decades old. We hear far too many “doozies” at VIM Executive Coaching to search around for fiction material!
An executive leader who was an antique car buff, plunked down a healthy amount of money for a restored, 1953 Volkswagen Beetle. We are not exactly certain as to the date of the vehicle however we believe it was a model that either had no gas gauge, or a gauge that was rudimentary at best.
He liked the attention he and his “bug” received whenever he puttered down the highway at a whopping 60 mph. In fact, he boasted that the light green car seemed to use virtually no fuel. He boasted incessantly – and was ribbed for it but he swore it got 70+ miles per gallon.
Sputter, not putter
Our executive leader had two, dear friends who were also neighbors. I must emphasize, that they were all great friends. The neighbors decided to rig up a practical joke after hearing the leader boast once again: “I think the gas mileage could be in the Guinness Book of Records
We were told by a car expert that the funny looking bug with its oval rear window – at best – could achieve about 32 miles per gallon.
What was happening was that once a week, his friends were sneaking into his garage with a large plastic jug and funnel and topping off the tank. This went on for a month.
Finally, one week, they decided to stop refilling the tank. As our executive was driving down the highway, the VW sputtered and was steered to the side of the road. He waited nearly an hour for roadside assistance to refill the gas tank. So much for the unlimited fuel efficiency! It became quite the joke at the neighborhood BBQ.
Where we’re leading you
We would like to take an unexpected detour to this antique car story and it concerns the expression “fierce compassion,” the true point of this post.
Lately (especially after the worst of the pandemic), VIM Executive Coaching has encountered several executive leaders – great people, all – who come to us complaining of being entirely burned out.
They have done everything possible to make everyone happy; to retain staff; to treat everyone with authenticity and empathy. They learned how to adjust to the hybrid workplace; they handled all of the drama around the COVID booster with aplomb; they were superstars of resilience.
Then, after all of their work, they could not understand their situation; they could not understand their sadness, lack of energy or increasing lack of willingness to engage. They were fed up.
“If I hear one more problem from anyone, I am going to explode.”
What these fine people are describing, is precisely what the surprised owner of the Beetle realized after he waited for roadside assistance: no fuel tank is unlimited.
An executive leader might boast of all of the mindfulness and compassion in the world. If the compassion is also not directed by the leader to within themselves, it is a guarantee to lead to burnout. There are limits to compassion. It is a bitterly important lesson.
Yes, we hear incessantly about fierce compassion but what about self-compassion? For it is impossible to espouse fierce compassion for others without compassion for oneself. It can’t be done.
We can kid all we’d like about empty gas tanks or any other allegory we might choose, but executives are all too human as well. It is perfectly acceptable to say “no.” It should be perfectly normal to place limits and set boundaries. Resilience means just that. Elasticity stretches only so far. The executive leader cannot break in the process of being authentic.
Executive leaders have all “been there.” Sometimes trying to be everything to everyone will only lead to pain and disappointment. VIM Executive Coaching helps executive leaders navigate the difference between selflessness and selfishness.
Not surprising, later models of the VW Beetle, incorporated standard fuel gauges.