“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
~Mark Twain
Let’s talk about anger today. In all fairness, an upset VIM Executive Coaching client brought up the topic first. She asked: “Why is everyone so (blanking) angry?” In clarification, by “everyone,” she meant her organization’s CEO, EVP, board chair and other “C Suite” players. Indeed, her comments made it appear as though anger was the modern currency of doing business at her company. No wonder she wanted to leave!
Psychologist Dr. Kurt Ela, listed several reasons for the uptick in anger in his recent (May 2024) article for Psychology Today. The reasons are as relevant in the workplace (remote, hybrid or in-person) as they are in living rooms, and include everything from being in chronic pain to perpetual sleep deprivation to not having enough money to meet expenses. Unchecked anger simply leads to more anger.
Do social media and cable news add fuel to the flames of anger? The short answer (after lots of research): You’d better believe it.
We are reminded by the mental health community, Dr. Ela and others, to forgive, breathe, take our time reacting and to slow-it-down. It is good, solid advice that (unfortunately) no one on this planet seems to follow.
Mark Twain, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, if you will, was spot-on with his quote from the late 1800s. Anger finishes many leaders.
Anger is at the end of one journey.
We all have choices and regrettably, all too many executive leaders are choosing anger as their default leadership style. Anger need not be the fist-pounding, ranting, raving, red-faced, vein-popping variety, but can take over through continual bias, high-dosages of sarcasm, constant dissatisfaction, derision and cynicism.
Constant anger will invariably lead to the destruction of the vessel. It will help create increased turnover, low moral and lackluster results. Anger may be a short-term motivator but it does not do much to help build great organizations.
The Wharton School did extensive research on anger and found: “angry people often lose the ability to see problems from another point of view, which can hamper efforts to resolve conflict.”
Obviously, we are not talking about workplace violence in a physical sense, however dealing with angry leadership does cause employees to lose authenticity, creativity and interest. This, of course, becomes a cycle. Disgruntled executive leaders in-turn, create unhappy staff members who either leave or disconnect and disengage, which leads to anger at poor results.
Anger is clearly at the end of many leadership journeys. Frankly, no one wants to be around angry people. And, dare we point out that angry people are often inappropriate, lack compassion and show inherent and damaging favoritism? These days, where employees have a greater voice and more options, angry and reactive leaders (especially those showing biases), are usually shown the door.
In other words, the angry cannot imagine any way other than their own way. Their executive journey comes to a dead-end.
Acid can be neutralized.
Anger need not become a permanent mindset. It takes work to lose it. Would it help us all to reduce angry “outside influences” such as angry social media, angry political rants and angry cable news feeds? Perhaps. The experts tell us that turning off the noise can help reduce annoyance and agitation to most everything, but to a degree.
However, nothing is as powerful in mitigating anger as mindfulness. We must remember that it was also Mark Twain who said:
“Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”
He was correct. Mindfulness asks us as executives to be open to possibility, to respond rather than react, to accept our way may not be the only way. It can be a difficult change, of course for many leaders to embrace.
Yet, mindfulness turns what was once curmudgeonly behavior into a quieter acceptance and openness of situations.
Far better to view situations with a clear lens of balance than an angry outlook of bias.