“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
~Brené Brown
Then there is the classic airport story VIM Executive Coaching likes to share from time to time. It was allegedly during the height of holiday season when a super-harried ticket agent was attempting to smoothly board an aircraft (good luck, right?).
Anyone (and that’s most of us) who has ever endured the boarding process during a peak travel time will understand what it takes for airline personnel to deal with a certain class of passengers who believe themselves to be “above the riff-raff.”
In this famous case, a passenger believed his frequent flyer status somehow entitled him to show up as the doors were about to close, then unseat another passenger (who had simply followed the rules), so he would not have to sit in economy with us common people. As you might imagine, there was a heated “back and forth,” when he finally uttered the famous line: “Do YOU know who I am?”
At this point, the harried gate attendant picked up the microphone and addressed the entire waiting area: “Ladies and Gentlemen, there’s a man up here in a gray business suit, white shirt and paisley tie who does not know who he is. Can someone claim him?”
The story goes that everyone in the waiting area broke out in cheers and wild applause.
Even if the story was a fake
Even if the story is an airport legend and a type of movie myth, it stands as illustration to the somewhat self-important type of executive who through stress or choice or even technology, believes themselves to be super-important and removed from mindful interaction.
Why do some executive leaders behave that way? “Image” plays a certain role. Portrayals of executives in the media are far too often parody; two-dimensional and stylized to fit a so-so script. In other words, untrained or unmindful executives often accept as true they should behave in the same manner as their favorite actor in that role.
Some act (and react) out on employees because they feel stressed. Stress, of course, is a movable target. “I felt stressed in the moment,” is often a useless catch-phrase used as an excuse for boorish behavior. For example, “I regret I embarrassed and humiliated you in front of the entire sales meeting – I was stressed our dog groomer botched our Labradoodle’s haircut.”
Technology has also affected mindfulness. It may take years before leaders recover from COVID; not because of the disease, but because they felt so disconnected during the months of constant virtual meetings, that they lost human connection.
No matter the cause for some executive leaders for posturing and acting officiously and unmindfully, rather than mindfully, the harm is palpable and damaging. When an executive leader loses authenticity, its effects ripple through organizations.
Be real, it will serve you
Somewhere, somehow in the overall recent history of executive leadership, many executives began to embrace fictitious personas. We gave a few examples above for “why” it might have happened and, of course, there are many more including social media, political pressures and a constantly shifting economy (people more in love with projecting an image than accepting a temporary financial reality).
We live in a time where people are often afraid to be themselves for fear of judgment. We are not talking about personal interactions but keeping it to professional settings. Why or when executive leaders stopped believing in their own authenticity is hard to pinpoint, but it serves no one to turn away from their own essence and to pretend to be someone else.
There is an adage that says, “Who you are, is plenty good enough.” It is an elegant statement of mindfulness. Can an executive leader improve? Of course. However, there is no better platform on which to improve than the one already in place.
If we return to the dynamic of the ticket agent and the passenger, the ticket agent was obviously the more authentic of the two.
In the overall scheme of things, the “late” passenger might have understood the situation, accepted his tardiness and gracefully found his seat. In that interaction, he would have been authentic, and not a joke.