“The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find.”
~Oscar Auliq-Ice
Not long ago, VIM Executive Coaching checked into a hotel for a business conference. It was a rather nice “property,” as they say in meetings and conventions lingo, a grand hotel with carved paneling, touches of stained-glass and ornate staircases leading to the mezzanine level. The hotel even boasted that old-hotel smell that is at once exhilarating and inviting.
This will not be a post devoted to whining, berating or telling you that we posted pictures of a dirty bathtub to a review site, and gave it one-star. In fact, the hotel was lovely in virtually every respect save for one detail: the concierge was still away on vacation and the back-up assistant was unfamiliar with the city.
What’s to be done?
Despite those review sites we mentioned above, being a tourist in an unknown city can be somewhat intimidating. Many people would rather lock themselves in rooms than to walk around the block; many would rather eat an expensive hotel dinner than explore a new restaurant, and certainly, many will believe any negative story (no matter how remote) about a new place, than to allow for a positive or joyous experience.
The concierge (a good concierge) is so valuable because we believe they have the inside scoop and will take care of us. Certainly, given most situations, they will often lead us to places that are safe or predictable (or even pre-arranged through subtle “kickbacks.”)
The concierge, if you wish to put it another way, are quite similar to AI-driven search engines. It’s not that they are “Bad,” but rather expected. They give us adequate answers to adequate, predictable questions.
However, sometimes the concierge is unavailable. Sometimes, the assistant concierge is new, or follows a written guide or worse, will throw up their hands and not know the simplest of answers to rather basic questions.
What’s to be done? we may ask ourselves. In most cases, what is usually done is to settle.
What are you finding?
The point in this line of discovery, is that in life, many individuals, especially executives, have become so afraid of discovering who they are, they are never happy with themselves and hence – are unhappy with just about everyone around them. That, is a very tough filter.
Keeping with this theme (true story) we knew of an executive leader who constantly traveled – and had racked up hundreds of thousands of air miles in far-flung places, but never traveled outside the hotel. We suppose that’s “good enough,” if all we aspire to is good enough. When people fail to discover, experience, seek or even reflect, they may be filling a slot, but they lose any sense of mindfulness.
Unfortunately, an executive leader who has lost mindfulness is no different than a hotel guest who goes furious when the concierge is unavailable to “give them the right answer.” The right answer, as we all should know, is relative. It depends on the question, the situation and often, the person asking. Sometimes the answer can’t be found in the HR manual.
The fallback, the equivalent to electing to be unmindful, is ordering room service when all around us are 4-star restaurants.
Even more disappointing, is when the executive who locks themselves away, returns home and gloats about having just been in an exotic location. The most exotic location, if you will, may well be found within ourselves, if we but allow it.
In the final analysis, the best executive leaders are those who understand the importance of self-discovery because it leads to happiness, understanding and mindfulness. When we leave the predictable, the rote and the repetitive, we explore all kinds of places, especially our own greatness and self-worth.