We at VIM Executive Coaching, would never have referred to our client as a failure, but he did, and that was the point and his reason for his coming to us in the first place. As is our policy, we would never reveal his field in this public forum, however he was considered one of the leading designers in the profession with a staff of equally talented people. He was in-line to be the organization’s next chief operating officer with a huge salary.
Nevertheless, the day he sat across from our table he admitted that while he “had everything” he could have ever imagined from a monetary point of view, his heart was asleep and he could no longer stand the idea of working on another project. In fact, he had never really liked his profession. He was good at it, he rose in the industry, he was interviewed, spoke at conferences and people sought his advice. The conversation paused. He drummed our desk.
“I was a biologist in college. I studied ecology. I want to return to school, get a Ph.D. and then work in the environmental field. Before I die, I want to make a difference.”
Did we mention he was 53?
What do you want from us?
Interestingly, his request involved a simple question, and it was not if he was being capricious, or “silly” or even selfish.
“What I want to know,” he asked, “is if I am being mindful?”
It was a rare question, to be sure. VIM Executive Coaching likes to lead our clients toward greater mindfulness, authenticity and even compassion. Here was someone who had been working at a profession he loathed, who wanted to feel a purpose and a connection and who genuinely wanted to know if he was being mindful in wanting these changes for himself?
However, though his approach to the decision was refreshing his journey was not that unusual. For we do know that being wildly successful at something we don’t embrace is a true failure. It leads us to a place of desperation and often, sadness, Being “effective” at something we don’t hold dear is indeed, disaster, especially when the ride, so-to-speak occupies every aspect of our lives.
We need to be clear here. There are many good people who must work in professions they dislike because they have no other choice. However, even within that construct we are impressed with those who volunteer, coach, mentor, create, play sports and on and on. When there are no other interests, when people are consumed with work that they truly dislike, while being “good at it,” they are failing.
In regard to our highly successful “failure,” we did lead him through several mindfulness exercises to determine if he was truly desirous of change or simply needed a modification of his work and life balance.
Fast forward
We are pleased to report a note received from our former client, now a Ph.D. in Environmental Studies. He is part of a team working on cleaning up waterways in a Midwestern city. We fast-forwarded his career, now about a decade later to explain that when he left to go back to school, those around him (including his family) thought he had taken full leave of his senses. Yet, they noted he started to smile once again, lost an edge and developed a mindful purpose and authenticity. The work and degree were not easy; he worked hard, but with joy. He is approaching 64.
No, he does not consider himself a huge success, but he does see himself as making just a bit of a difference; a tiny degree of difference. It is easy to be defeated by the amount of work required to restore the environment by the slightest; thoughts of failure are easy to come-by, and yet, it all makes him strangely happy; mindfully and authentically happy.