Many years ago, author Tom Robbins wrote a book entitled, “Even Cowgirls Get The Blues.” As popular as it was absurd, it featured a young woman, who was adept at hitch-hiking because she had large thumbs.
VIM Executive Coaching was recently reminded of the title in a meeting. The client was talking about an acquaintance of hers, with a large ego, an executive leader who “crashed” after getting demoted for their arrogance and was disconsolate.
“I don’t want that to ever be me,” she admitted. “Is there a way I can ego-proof?”
It is a great question
Virtually every day, we come across posts or podcasts or (gasp) AI driven blog copy about the differences between bosses and leaders. We are told that “bosses are bad,” but “leaders are good.”
The writers of this copy assure us that “bad bosses do this,” and “good leaders do that.” And oh, how VIM Executive Coaching wishes day-to-day leadership challenges were so easy! Our business is based on the fact that leadership challenges can be enormous; people succeed or fall or somewhere (uncomfortably) in-between. Sometimes, people do all three.
For there are no easy solutions to leadership and sometimes a good leader must be a boss and often a boss must be open to being a good leader. What the AI-induced copy never explains is where, on this continuum, is it OK to put one’s foot down and where is it appropriate to completely ease-up? It is no wonder that executive leaders sometimes sing the blues, and bosses are sometimes over-the-top egotistical, and organizations stumble, fail and fall because a coherent direction has not been achieved.
It is simple to say, “I want to lead with no ego.” Such a statement makes for fine copy. On the other hand, it is also simple to say, “I must be the boss because no one wants to lead.”
Better to be calm
It is best to move away from the dichotomy and the world of black & white, this and that, “my way, or no way,” and talk common-sense and practical.
If executive leadership were that easy, there would be no need for business coaching. If there was no ego, then every boss would be perfect. If all decisions were left up to executives who (remarkably) agreed 100-percent of the time, there would perfect coordination and direction for every organization.
Unfortunately…leadership is hard and ultimately, the tough decisions fall onto the shoulders of one, or a handful of people.
The good news is that leaders have the ability to be mindful, a decidedly introspective, quiet and much more calm process. However, mindfulness must be cultivated. Mindfulness must be nurtured and guided.
A mindful executive has guardrails; that is to say, an understanding of where ego has taken over and being authentic has suffered. Indeed, mindfulness is the opposite of ego but it gives logical direction based on what is known and observed and experienced. Unlike an egotistical, charge-ahead, posture, mindfulness demands active listening and genuinely being in the moment.
While executive leadership is difficult, mindfulness provides a context for balanced decision making, hearing out opinions, and applying sensible direction to a complex set of issues.
The world’s best hitchhiker might thrive by having large thumbs, but the world’s best executive leader will fail with a massive ego and ego will surely cause a career to end. Being mindful allows an openness and a reception to input. Even if the ultimate decision is a lonely decision, the good news is that it will be logical in the moment.