I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'
~Jim Carrey, Comedian and Actor
Funny (and true) story from a VIM Executive Coaching client who was once a barista at a very busy coffee shop. We will let you imagine the physical scene.
There were a couple of officious patrons, but one in particular, the staff “dreaded” seeing. The order was not only complex but ridiculous, down to the exact temperature required of the foam, and the number of shakes of chocolate sprinkles. Most of us have had to stand in line behind one of these overly demanding folks. Excruciating does not begin to cover the sentiment!
Our former client and friend gave us the barista inside (coffee) scoop on the staff reaction to the demanding customers, and “this one” in particular. For after repeating the ridiculously detailed order from cashier to barista, the barista to an assistant barista, then back again, someone would cheerfully hand the thrice repeated order back to the cashier, with the added phrase “and all that jazz.”
What it meant, simply, was that no one in the process measured the foam temperature at the called-for 145-degrees, nor the number of sprinkles, nor the required (and exact) 3-1/2 shots of vanilla, or the proper oat milk to soy milk ratio, and on and on. The staff was, of course, willing to comply to a degree however, on a busy Monday morning, the line backed-up (both at the counter and drive-thru) for a $4 coffee drink, no one cared to placate the customer’s pomposity.
And that’s what it was – pretentiousness. For the person who seemed to go out of his way to absurdly overcomplicate a drink made from hot water and coffee beans wasn’t a gourmand newly arrived from Paris, but a middle manager for a real-estate company.
The funniest part of the self-important story was that there was never a complaint of the finished product. Whether 145-degrees or 136-degrees; three shakes of sprinkles or two; oat milk, soy milk, almond milk combinations or good old-fashioned cow’s milk, there was never a complaint. He was more focused on over-complicating demands.
As such, there was no authenticity in his request other than to make demands of staff.
How good it is
Let us bring in Jim Carrey’s quotation for a minute, for he was expressing several important aspects of life. He was expressing gratitude certainly, and being alive in the moment, and an appreciation for nature, but most important, the knowledge that comes with an appreciation for the brevity of everything earned or given. Moment to moment, this (now) wealthy and successful man mindfully understands that what is given can be taken.
We don’t know Jim Carrey, but we have met many successful and wealthy people. “Off camera,” they are simply people. They have a close cadre of friends and colleagues whom they trust, they have the same pains and problems as “the rest of us,” they understand their triumphs but they also see how quickly disappointment and tragedy can strike. They know that once anyone stops being mindful, it can be a recipe disaster.
Carrey is now in his sixties. He is not ancient, but no longer young. He has undoubtedly experienced loss, and has witnessed the good and not-so-good of life.
So, we have to return to the mid-level real estate executive who gains contentment in making demands of others; who gains a sense of power by trying to make those around them feel less strong; who are happiest when ordering others for the sake of ordering.
They are frustrating, those types, but they make excellent teachers and guides. They tend to fade away, perhaps to move on to other coffee shops in other places but they rarely maintain successful careers. As executives who must sometimes work with those kinds of people, be aware of the mindful lessons they teach. Respond, don’t react to them for they are “all that jazz,” and foam, regardless of temperature.