VIM Executive Coaching dusted off an old Bee Gees CD the other day (don’t worry, the office was being painted that day) and someone decided to play, “Stayin’ Alive.” Now that we have evoked an Old School memory of high-pitched screeching, the song’s title did remind us of a recent conversation with a mid-level executive leader.
We asked, rather innocently, of the new client, “So, how is it going?”
“Well, I lived to fight another day, I stayed alive for another week, thank goodness.”
It’s a tough road
As our new client detailed the many issues the struggling, hi-tech company was facing, and the likelihood of the organization lasting another year, the conversation quickly turned the spotlight on the struggles encountered of leadership.
They were blaming the poor numbers, the lack of morale, the failures of the new product to properly launch on the mid-level executives. There was little support from upper management, a great deal of judgment and a constant barrage of mean-spirited comments and guilt trips.
The conversation was hardly joyous singing and dancing. The conversation was instead, an all-too-familiar detailing of good intentions turning bad, a lack of planning and execution curved-in on those required to carry out difficult orders and worse, a failure of compassion and connection.
However, the organization was not our client; the executive leader who sat across from us was fully our focus and our concern. As our new client was put under ever-increasing amounts of stress, the lack of sleep, nervous tension, the flare-up of a few other health issues was also at stake.
We asked our client if they had ever tried meditation or Tai Chi or Yoga? No. How about hiking or bike rides or other physical exercise? Sometimes. Well, hardly ever.
We stopped everything, then and there, and asking our client a bit of indulgence, our client was led through a few minutes of calm breathing and stillness. We asked our client “to think of nothing” but to instead allow the sounds of the birds in the tree outside our window or anything else allowed to enter awareness.
Mindfulness is not disco
Unfortunately, we live in a time that celebrates the external. In the days of disco, it was flashing lights, mirrors, pounding music, glitter and glitz. In today’s world, it is often, trying to keep up with five social media sites, while having to constantly text or multi-task to the point of never tasking anything for ourselves; trying to be everything to everyone. Executive leaders must understand what while they need to do to be compassionate to others, they need to be authentic to self. However, understanding is not internalizing.
It is difficult to try to be mindful and at the same time chasing the promise of new vibes, virtual realities and the latest and greatest in destinations, experiences and input from “a hundred managers” trying to tell you how to do your work.
Mindfulness requires the creation of awareness of what we are doing, where we are going and how to be authentic whether listening to ourselves or to the concerns of others.
Our client was neither a magician nor juggler. Our client could not work under the constant stress of living to fight another week, nor was our client responsible for the problems and failures imposed on the fundamental structure of the organization. There came the time for our client to see that it was impossible to be everything to everyone. She is currently interviewing for other positions that will allow her to be an authentic executive leader.
We may all believe that the disco of our lives is limitless however, sometimes the music must stop and to celebrate the sound of our own breath as far more authentic and beautiful.