An acquaintance called us last week, asking us if we were watching the re-release of a highly successful television series about lawyers. The series is set in Manhattan, in a high-powered law office where billions of dollars are fought over and litigated virtually every day of the week.
The characters of the series are incredibly polished in Harvard-trained posturing and their $2,000 suits, hard-nosed, clever beyond words and are seemingly correct in every move they make. Our acquaintance, the CFO for a small manufacturing company has been binge watching the episodes and knows all of the side details about the actors, their families and their roles in other productions.
That’s pretty impressive
Because our acquaintance is a decent person, we felt no need to ask challenge about the obvious obsession, rather to wonder why the series so resonated, as to cause the almost nightly viewing pattern. The answer was interesting:
“I lead a pretty boring mid-western life for a pretty boring company. I buy my clothing on sale, we vacation on a budget and day-to-day, my life is predictable. I wish I could be one of those beautiful people.”
We respected the answer. Why? It was authentic. And, taken on the surface, who wouldn’t be attracted to such a lifestyle? Having seen an episode or two ourselves, we could see the lure and the attraction attached to all of these folks and the successes they portray. It’s all pretty impressive.
And that’s the problem. At the end of each scene, the director cuts the action. We pull back and see that the offices are a set; there is no ceiling, but a mish-mash of lighting. The actors, act. They are made-up, dressed up, try to learn their lines, sometimes “mess-up their lines, sometimes disagree with one another and fear what our acquaintance fears: getting fired, not being good enough, being bored, being judged, financial problems and life problems.
“You are more real than all of them,” we observed. “Please don’t forget that.”
The Age of Posturing
Lately, we have encountered quite an array of executives who can’t seem to understand why their management styles are failing to get the results that they desire. They will tell us things such as:
- “I can’t get my people to talk to me”
- “The online tutorials are not getting me the results I desire.”
- “Is it me or have employees stopped learning how to communicate?”
- “What do these employees want from me, perfection?”
Unfortunately, when we ask the executives not how they manage, but where they have developed their styles, the most common answers stem from things they have read or watched on social media, cable television or even (gasp) Reality TV. While we have enjoyed the entertainment value of expert talks or the absolute “certainty” of those who have written bestselling management books, the answers to the questions many executive leaders seek is simple and complex, but one in the same.
Taking the questions posed from above, the answers are rather consistent:
- Try being authentically you and respond as you.
- The online tutorials are often generic, impractical and don’t celebrate you.
- Employees want you to listen as you, respond to them as you, and talk from the heart.
- No one expects perfection, but more so, a person who respects, listens and responds.
In other words, the executive leader who is truly mindful understands that life is not a simple script with wooden actors, but a daily challenge met with authenticity, awareness and concern.
We can admire an actor who delivers heartfelt lines and who says things that make us feel. However, let’s not confuse the act with how corporate life can often be: messy, contentious, disappointing and unfair.
The mindful executive can help those situations in a thousand ways, for the mindful executive can authentically respond within the moment. And, with respect to our CFO acquaintance, such response is never boring.