Who has been our favorite VIM Executive Coaching client? Truth is, we care for everyone who honors us with their trust, but among the more interesting was the executive who wanted nothing – but who valued everything. This became clearer the further he went through the coaching process, and as with every one of our clients, we learned as well as guided and coached.
Is There Nothing You Want?
As we got to know our executive leader, he admitted that he wanted what many of us want in a personal sense: for his family to be healthy and happy; for people to be kind to one another; for our lives to be interesting; for fun vacations and so forth, but in a business sense, he did not long for things.
This was a bit of a head-scratcher. We asked him to explain.
“In my work career, I know that if I want blockbuster sales in third quarter, I may not get them. If I want everyone to get along, they may not. If I want ethical behavior of all my employees, I may not get it. If I want a product to be rolled-out in January, it may be delayed. I hope for positive outcomes but I may not always get them.”
So, we wanted to know, what happens to an executive who wants nothing?
“What I am trying to say,” he told us, “Is that I try to plan everything or think through everything so that there are no surprises. I pretty much expect that anything can happen on any given day.”
So, in your frame of reference, you try to not have expectations but you accept what is in front of you.
“In a way, but if I do my planning and I know the situation, I have a fairly good idea of what comes ahead. I try to keep an open mind. I try to be even-keeled.”
Then he hesitated. “Is there something wrong with me? Is my approach the right approach? People tell me I’m too level-headed and not excitable enough. I guess you could call me boring.”
It led us to a discussion of authenticity.
What Do You Value?
We asked him what he valued, and his face lit up. He valued his employees and tried to be a good manager. He valued his peers, and even though they could be a challenge, he generally liked them. He valued the integrity of his company’s products. He values their community service and he often pitched in and helped his employees paint run-down homes.
Then he uttered a sentence that was key to his coaching: “I guess you could say that I value the team so much, that I know they can work with me to handle our toughest challenges. And they always know I’m there for them.”
Without being fully aware and accepting of it, he was authentic. Authenticity can only spring from a place of mindfulness.
Of course, they planned and prepared, but more than that he used compassion to lead and his team knew it. They valued and respected one another. And no, he was not a “fancy” type of person, and he was not prone to outbursts, but he was authentic within his actions and the way he dealt with everyone and conveyed to each that he valued them. In essence, he was every bit a servant leader, being comfortable enough within himself, to lead others so that they would shine and grow.
In essence, serving his employees is what he wanted, and he was mindful enough to allow it to happen. Our role was to coach him into further embracing his talents and to believe that he was on a magnificent path as a leader.