Ego. From time to time, when a new client sits down with VIM Executive Coaching for the first consultation, we will hear the claim “You know who was responsible for this – or that? It was me; I was the one responsible for it all.”
It is a dangerous precipice where one false slip can translate into a horrific fall. In fact, we like to think of ego as ice. One wrong step on that ice, will insure a fall from an already uncertain position. Let us explain with a classic car example.
The Corvette
So, speaking of ice, we had a friend and car aficionado who, many years ago, bought his dream car at auction, a restored 1963 Corvette. It was a magnificent vehicle with a white exterior and bright red interior. It reminded us a shark!
In any case, our friend (who could be somewhat egotistical) never failed to bring the car up in conversation. He could be seen speeding around town, absolutely confident of his driving abilities. This continued on until the first light snow of winter. As the “shark” was winding along on the parkway, he unexpectedly hit a patch of ice. The old Corvettes, being front heavy, were notorious for their fish-tail spins. The “shark” went into a terrible spin right off the parkway and despite all of the brake pumping and attempts to avoid the one lone light pole, he smacked right into it.
The good news, of course, is that our friend had so slowed the car by that point he hit the pole at a slow-motion speed of 7 m.p.h. He was unhurt. The bad news was that his beloved car, with the fiberglass body, cracked like an egg. The repair bill was astronomic. The vehicle was again restored, but never quite the same.
The point is that very much like the slippery precipice, ego is always a dangerous precursor to a fall, failure or flub.
How Responsible Are We?
In an organizational sense, the egotistical kiss of death, is when an executive leader believes that she or he is so “brilliant,” or so creative, effective or visionary, that they were the one factor responsible for (fill in the blank).
It is a dangerous proposition. And, by the way, before we put the Corvette analogy to rest for this post, it needs to said that our friend was aware of tendencies such as fish-tail spins, but he was convinced it would not happen to him.
It is the problem with ego and with thinking, “I’m Responsible for All of This,” is that when things go well, the executive leader takes credit but when slips, skids and falls occur, it is “their fault.” It was not the Corvette’s fault that it went into a fish-tail spin on the icy road. It may have been a design flaw that the driver should have taken into account before speeding along, but the true fault was with the egotism of the driver. For if he had slowed, there would have been no accident.
Authentic Leadership
Claiming responsibility for all that is good, and nothing that is bad has often led to the downfall of many executive leaders because it invariably leads to blaming others. The blame-game does not extend in one direction, but all directions. It never fails. It will blame an underling; it will eventually blame a peer and/or superior.
When that dynamic is established, the executive will develop a negative reputation that cascades to all areas of leadership.
The objective here is to be authentic in all things and that comes from mindfulness. Taking undue credit is false; blaming everyone else for failure is false. Constant belittling or inauthentic humility is also false. What is true? Being mindful in the moment.
There is nothing wrong with having an ego. What creates a problem is when the ego drives the car and not the mindful driver. We are responsible to be, in all things, as authentic as possible. Ego does not suffer in praising others or in being truly humble. Indeed, it helps us steer our careers with intention and care.