For an executive leader, there is possibly nothing worse than lost opportunity and regret. At VIM Executive Coaching we have worked with many potentially fine leaders who have waited far too long because they didn’t feel right about making a career move.
It is Not a Game
We well remember one such executive who chose to “endure” an uncomfortable situation because she wanted to wait them out. The organization was built on false promises, unethical behavior, with some low-key misogyny and harassment thrown-in for good measure. Yes, one of the offenders eventually was asked to leave the organization, but the underlying culture remained.
Frankly, she came to us after yet another bout of insomnia following an incident at a board meeting when she overheard two board members having a not-so-subtle, completely inappropriate conversation about a co-worker’s faith.
“I can’t wait on them to change and they won’t do anything about it.”
We asked why she took so long. The attitudes of the organization were well established and while she was waiting for changes, years had passed.
“I really thought I could outlast them.”
We gently reminded her that the waiting game is hardly a game. Year pass and while waiting for something – anything – to happen, an entire career can be delayed, stalled and opportunity leaves with it.
Really a Reaction
While playing the waiting game until some fantasy (about how things should be) improves, the executive is not responding but reacting. The reaction is one of anger or minimally of discontent. Waiting and fuming are hardly responses, they are grumbling, muttering reaction to something tragically wrong with the organization.
Things don’t change by wishing them away or waiting for something to fall of its own dysfunction. If an organization perpetuates a harmful culture, it is very difficult to overcome. Far better to fully understand what is going on and to accordingly respond.
“Response” is not waiting nor a game. Response works on information gathering, reflection, studying alternatives and obviously acting on the information that has presented itself. Response is a fully mindful process. Reaction is not.
It is tempting to speak one’s mind and storm out of an organization while overhearing a set of inappropriate comments (and we’ve all been there). It is quite another thing to be mindful, and immediately seek other opportunities when the situation is untenable. Careers should unfold, but they should not stagnate pending an indefinite waiting period.
How It Was Handled
The executive in question did go HR and while the assistant director was somewhat sympathetic, she pointed out that board members were different than staff and “that’s what we sometimes have to live with.”
There was no more reflection or reaction needed, and the executive smiled, got up from her chair, and began to follow-up with executive recruiters and former co-workers who had left the company. It took about two months, but she found an exciting new situation.
We agreed with her and encouraged her during the whole transition process in that there are indeed some situations where trying to out-wait a bad situation is counter-productive to say the least. Your career is important, don’t ignore it to prove a point borne out of reaction.