VIM Executive Coaching often hears quotes such as “She was a decent executive leader, but she could be quite cynical,” or “He was a crusty and cynical results-oriented man who got the job done, but…”
We will let you fill in the “blank,” but we’re afraid it wasn’t exactly complimentary.
We have almost always found that the descriptor of cynicism when evoking the image of a curmudgeonly, gadfly or judgmental type of executive leader might have been amusing from a distance but terribly difficult to endure on a day-to-day basis.
The Poison of Cynicism
Whether we want to describe an executive leader as cynical, pessimistic, sarcastic or suspicious, they destroy anything that wants to thrive and flower, and in fact, poison most anything around it.
How does an executive leader become cynical? The popular energy around such usually involves the word “disappointed.” As in, she became disappointed in people over time; they could not be trusted or he was cynical from experience; people couldn’t be believed; they have to be doubted and double-checked.
So, the burning question: Is a cynical executive leader, an effective leader? The answer is usually a resounding “No.” A highly cynical leader is essentially a negative leader who sees bad, rather than good; negativity in all things and can be, suspicious to the point of being uncomfortable.
Given post-lockdown confusion, where many workplaces find themselves between virtual and in-person, cynicism may well be the last thing that any workplace needs. In a time of massive need for team building and change management, the cynical executive leader casts off a negative influence that is only adding to workplace turnover.
The presence of the corporate gadfly or disheveled curmudgeon is now a parody and wedge.
I Can’t Change
Not so surprisingly, even the most cynical of the cynical recognize what they are doing to themselves as well as to others. In fact, many negative types in candid moments during a VIM Executive Coaching session freely admit that they wish they could change, but are clueless as to how to do so.
The bad habit of negativity that the most cynical freely admit to projecting, invariably hurts them and either prevents them from further advancement, reassignment or termination. It is a characterization that once established, is a difficult label to remove.
Of course, change is possible. However, the shift is not a quick-fix or something that magically comes about through a podcast, best-selling book or a social media support group.
For the opposite of cynicism, believe it or not, is authenticity and mindfulness. When an executive leader is truly authentic, they are speaking from an inner place of truth and not from hurt and anger. For cynicism and its twin, negativity, are borne of anger and pain.
Authenticity must pull down the walls of anger and the filter of prior hurt. A newly hired, or even established employee, is not responsible for anger. A mindful response requires the elimination of hurt. It is mediating in the moment, really listening to the words of others, respecting what is being said then acting in a responsive rather than reactive mindset.
The authentic leader is a nurturer and healer – and if, a situation cannot be happily resolved, at least the resolution will make sense and there will ultimately be an understanding.
We will conclude this post with a memorable quote by Carl Jung: “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
None of us is born cynical. Sometimes, to get back to who we truly are requires work, but it makes living our lives a privilege and not an angry burden.