How many executive leadership books have passed over our desks at VIM Executive Coaching? The question is rhetorical but suffice it to say, the answer is “many,” perhaps hundreds. The books are invariably filled with charts, graphs and compelling illustrations. And, we must admit, they are impressive, as are their numerous podcasts, impressive websites, links to speeches and, since 2020, video conferences.
Unfortunately, many of the tools offered to executive leaders (graphs and subdivided boxes within boxes), distill down to a philosophy of “this and that,” “say this, don’t do that,” or “what to do if this, doesn’t accomplish that.” After a while, all of the materials blend into one another.
Should it Be a “Game?”
Of all of the changing elements of executive leadership in 2022, the one thing that VIM Executive Coaching can say with absolutely certainty, is that it is not a game, an app or any other digitized presentation. Executive leadership is far too often seen as a series of reactions; a bunch of “why do you feel that way?” pseudo-psychological manipulations and rather calculating tactics intended to evoke pre-arranged outcomes.
And the games almost never work in real-life.
Whether virtual or in-person; Denver, New York or San Francisco; hi-tech or the lowest of low-tech (whatever that might be!), employees are human, and come complete with human emotions. We have seen far too many situations where executive leaders pretend that those who report to them are two-dimensional figures.
The best executive leaders are mindful and not manipulative. The best executive leaders view their employees through the lens of responsiveness and not reaction. For example, we have known far too many executives who will isolate or go-around employees rather than deal with a situation they find unpleasant or even “too emotional.” This is especially true of situations that don’t precisely fit into a box on a chart.
Lose the Illustration
The path on which VIM Executive Coaching starts its clients is the opposite of rules and rigidity. In guiding our clients toward greater awareness, authenticity and mindfulness, we encourage response rather than reaction to situations; a greater exploration of self and skills such as better listening, meditation and being-in-the-moment.
Ultimately, every executive leader can develop the resources that give their management style an awareness, compassion, authenticity and “consciousness” of what is going on and how it will affect those around them.
Being in the moment cultivates the abilities to see situations for what they are and how they might be addressed. It is the opposite of manipulation or gamesmanship. However, it doesn’t mean that being responsive is a state of “weakness” or “softness.” It means experiencing conditions within the context of what is known, and not a chart or graph that must be pre-determined and constructed. People don’t fit into boxes, digital or otherwise.
In being responsive to others, it is essential to remove pre-judgment and bias. This is a problem for some executive leaders who have navigated their careers as though they were in a cat and mouse game of doing and saying the right thing, and not adjusting to the reality of situations.
It is not easy for many leaders to remove their biases and judgments, but it can be infinitely rewarding. For when we strive to remove our judgments of others, we are invariably kinder and more compassionate toward ourselves. There are almost no executive leadership books we’ve read to encourage that.