VIM Executive Coaching has lately become fascinated with the word “outrage.” Apparently, we’re not alone. Author Benjamin Sledge, an author on psychological topics and wounded combat veteran had some interesting observations and suggestions on the topic of outrage. While it’s not a business article, he nevertheless noted:
“Anger indulged, instead of simply waved off, always has in it an element of self-righteousness and vanity. Find a person who has embraced anger, and you find a person with a wounded ego.”
Outrage or Acceptance?
From an executive leadership perspective, there are unfortunately far too many in the workplace (in-person, virtual or hybrid) who dwell in the world of anger rather than response.
We at VIM Executive Coaching are not so naïve as to believe that the same influencers on the behavior of some executive leaders are somehow apart of what influences much of society in general. Executive leaders are, after all, no different than anyone else.
In our business coaching sessions, we often encounter leaders who have allowed themselves to become completely enveloped by cable news (pick your channel and news presenter) or social media or podcasts or even reality TV shows.
In general, the continuous commentary always has (as author Sledge suggests) “an element of self-righteousness and vanity.” If an executive listens to angry messaging enough, it weaves its way into the very soul of decision making and judgment. It also may result in reaction to what is being said, rather than an authentic response. Worse, angry people often relish hanging out with other angry people, and it leads to a tiny world.
Sadly, listening to a steady stream of self-righteous anger often results in angry rejoinders and a sense of vanity that filters into every interaction. It is a dangerous road to take, for it invariably leads to bias rather than to balance. When bias rules, rather than compassion, we all are worse for it.
And, by the way, kind reader, please understand that VIM Executive Coaching has counseled several media personalities. Even they don’t always fully believe what they are spewing! And, even they, need to decompress from the effort it takes to maintain that level of outrage. It is why “news” media personalities occasionally make poor decisions – because they need to do something a little irrational to deal with and dismiss the steady stream of anger.
The worst part of outrage is that it clouds mindful decision making. It is easy to generate anger in our present-day society. The word “outrage” is so frequently used to describe a wide range of topics and/or objects (from cell service to computer software to coffee prices to the admission costs of sporting events). The problem is that outrage is truly difficult to wave off. Anger is an infection and a most terrible disease.
Acceptance
Not long ago, we suggested to an angry client who was easily outraged and reactive in her judgments, that she turn off cable news, “politics,” and limit social media use.
“Then what’s left?” she laughed.
“Acceptance.”
“Never!” she retorted.
“Then respond to what you see with understanding, compassion and authenticity. Be mindful in that moment and recognize that listening to someone is often what they most need.”
That, is the choice executive leaders need to make. If an executive can accept what is being said, and whatever the point of view may be, at least a basis for discussion may begin. If, on the other hand, an executive leader is “so outraged” that no other point-of-view can be heard, none of us will ever get anywhere.
We are not saying, that an executive leader must respect all points of view, but if a leader is so outraged that no one is allowed to express an opinion or clarify a statement they made or understand where they may have failed, what is being gained?
Anger begets more anger, that is true, but also appreciate acceptance may yield greater acceptance as well.