While we have been taught, “To err is human, to forgive is divine,” VIM Executive Coaching has seen much evidence over the years that the quote rarely translates into practice in the work place. We can’t calculate the number of times we have heard variations of, “I will let them work here, but I will never trust them again.”
What is forgivable?
The problem of forgiveness is that it can be such a moveable target. What may seem “forgivable” on one day, may not be forgivable on the next. We also recognize that some “errors” are more than blunders e.g., bribery is not a blunder, racism is not a blunder, stealing is not a blunder. However, we would assume the employee would have been terminated over those flaws in judgment or action.
So, what is forgivable enough to allow an employee to keep working and yet terrible enough the executive leader to never trust an employee again? It is an interesting question that begs answers.
We might also add that it puts the employee in an untenable position. There is no winning.
As an example, let us imagine a manager who has been with an organization for about a decade. Overall, the employee has been a good contributor to the company and its mission. One day, the manager tells an inappropriate joke using a sexual innuendo in front of three employees. The employee has never done this before nor been counseled. In any case, two of the employees who heard the joke and filed a complaint of being offended.
The executive leader was made aware of the incident and gave the offending manager a choice of apologies plus a sensitivity course or termination. The manager opts for a course plus sensitivity training. However, after a two-month “trial” the executive leader eventually terminated the manager in any case, because he didn’t “like the chemistry” of the manager interacting with the employees. It allegedly wasn’t anything specific, the executive leader just stated the inappropriate joke in the workplace was a continuing source of comfortability issues.
Are Mistakes Forgivable?
The mythological manager left the company after signing an agreement that was a “mutual termination.”
Our question was one of, “Why did you keep the employee on the payroll knowing the employee would eventually be terminated?”
“It was a matter of trust,” said the executive leader. “I couldn’t bring myself to trusting again.”
The question remains if there are any work place mistakes that are forgivable, and if not, does the same screen apply to the executive leader as well? If companies were to terminate every employee for any mistake they made, would there be any employees left?
The question of forgiveness seems to come down to issues of mindfulness on the part of the executive leader as well as the employee who committed an error in judgment.
VIM Executive Coaching recognizes we are currently in an age of great social upheaval. This is hardly an observation limited to us alone. There is great tension, great areas of disagreement and sweeping changes along the landscape of society.
What was once acceptable is now unacceptable; what was once passed off as humor is now abhorrent; what was once commonplace or in casual use, is now banned. The problem is that the more society claims it is evolving, the less society seems willing to be mindful enough to accept heart-felt apology, a need for second chances, an attempt at correction.
Mindfulness demands not only a certain amount of flexibility but self-reflection and understanding. For like it or not we are all “moving targets.” Invariably, the biggest judges will become judged. It is a law eternal.
We are not saying the executive leader should have kept the long-time employee or not. However, we would like to know if the employee who made the dumb joke was seen in the light of desperately trying to correct a mistake, or if the executive leader was unable to accept the idea of humans as being imperfect. At some point we must all be mindful enough to understand that to err, really is to be human.