A friend of VIM Executive Coaching is currently in his 10th week of rehab, physical therapy and life-style adjustment following surgery for a total joint replacement. He has assured us he had made great progress. In fact, he has found several silver linings to his recovery including weight maintenance (he must exercise three times a day), friendly neighborhood walks, the joys of marking progress and occasionally surges of optimism in his quest to walk farther, graduate from walker to cane to sometimes nothing.
Out of curiosity
However, out of inquisitiveness into the quirks of human nature, we asked him the biggest challenges to the journey other than the anticipated discomfort of the healing process.
“Advice,” was his simple, but firm response.
“Some of the advice is heartfelt,” he said, “like keep up the good work, you’re getting stronger each day,” or “Your gait has really improved, your surgeon must be pleased. Don’t stop!”
Such advice is heartwarming and encouraging.
“However,” he noted, “I had no idea how many so-called friends, work and social acquaintances alike and close to total strangers, had advanced medical degrees in orthopedic surgery, physical therapy and other rehabilitation therapies. It’s quite astounding.”
He was, of course, being glib. For people he hardly knew inserted themselves in his rehab process, demanding to know how many times a day he exercised, who he went to for physical therapy (and if they were “taskmasters”) and had he tried this exercise – or that, this type of healing vitamin – or that, and worst of all, were they on schedule or not?
The more he talked, the more we could relate to how so many executive coaching clients we have worked with, are beset with “expert” opinion.
The process of healing physically and emotionally are obviously different, but they do share commonalities.
There is no end to advice
We have checked, and among the VIM Executive Coaching, we have not one orthopedic surgeon or physical therapist. We are sympathetic to a person’s journey toward wellness. However, we would never recommend a new set of exercises, a faster way to heal and certainly never a pill or potion with reputed magical therapeutic properties.
We do know a thing or two about executive leadership. This is a hard time for people who realize they need business leadership coaching.
From AI driven, advice driven leadership hokum to one-size-fits-all podcasts, far too many executives are somehow forced into uncomfortable solutions to a journey that is strongly personal and mindful.
(By the way, we do know an acclaimed orthopedic surgeon who “pleads” with his patients to avoid self-judgment, take pride in small improvements and most of all to stop comparisons to other patients.)
It is no different with clients who come to VIM Executive Coaching. The principles of coaching we seek to impart, include, and are based on mindfulness, authenticity and compassion. There is no single, correct strategy or method to achieve that goal, but self-awareness, the desire to understand, the caring for self and others. There is no ideal “personality type,” no strict timeline, but desire, gradual improvement and having the sense of personal accomplishment.
Advice is cheap, as the old adage goes. Why? Because those who advise are not those undergoing the work and the challenge of improvement. You are. Please remember to take great pride in yourself no matter how small the steps.