A true story from the VIM Executive Coaching “archives,” was a CFO who had a penchant for losing his reading glasses. In most other ways, he was a delightful and competent fellow however he must have gone through 20-pairs of glasses on an annual basis. He had given up going to his optometrist every time he lost a pair, and finally settled for shopping at the eyeglass kiosk at the local supermarket.
The classic story concerning this person was the time he came into a business coaching session rather miffed that he had lost yet another pair.
“It’s been hard working all day without ‘my specs,’ but it’s the end of the quarter and I couldn’t take the time to go shopping.”
We were obliged to tell him he was wearing them on his forehead!
Oh, how about that?
The scene was funny, not so much that he spent a good portion of the day looking for the glasses he was wearing, but because he was looking for something he admitted that he really didn’t need or only needed on an infrequent basis.
“I used to get headaches from eyestrain,” he confided, “but lately, not so much. Maybe it’s why I lose all of these glasses. I buy them, don’t need them, then forget about them until I think I might need them.”
In its own and unassuming way, his statement was deep and worthy of thought. The interaction led us to understanding a bit more about loss, life and leadership.
So many executive leaders that we have known are overly fixated on finding the “right answers” outside of themselves, they have given up relying on themselves. Of course, we should all reach out for advice and support when it is needed however far too often many executives believe they are so inadequate as people they couldn’t possibly find their way through a difficult problem. While no one likes to admit to that, we see numerous instances when it is readily apparent.
The entire practice of mindfulness and, from that, developing greater authenticity and compassion, is an inward seeking, “guided voyage” toward cultivating what is already inside. In other words, you are good enough.
We are in that age
We are in that certain age where online gurus, podcast “experts,” often through the courtesy of the same, recycled AI information and rather hackneyed guides, convince executive leaders that who, and what they are, are inadequate.
VIM Executive Coaching sharply disagrees with that mindset.
While nothing about executive leadership is easy, especially in 2023 and on the cusp of 2024, as business coaches, our specialty in a sense, is in helping executive leaders cultivate the qualities they already possess.
The approach we take to teaching and guiding executives is not to turn out executives in a cookie-cutter mold, but to build up what is good and to correct what is lacking. This is the mindful approach, where we enable executive leaders to bring out their authentic and compassionate selves. We understand that your personality is unique; your experiences are unique; your qualities are unique. Why lose that?
On the other hand, traits that need work or a rush you might have to react to situations rather than responding to them or to carry the baggage of previous disappointments and even failures, need to be lost.
Every executive leader we have known has had disappointment and some regret. However, we recognize that if such baggage is carried around in judgment, it is much like wearing reading glasses on the forehead. It serves no purpose.
On the other hand, mindfulness training understands that it is precisely those past mistakes that when properly channeled, might make for greater empathy and authenticity toward others.
Sometimes it is far better to stow the baggage into a safe and understanding place than to wear the mistakes as a sign that we will make the same mistake yet again.