The staff of VIM Executive Coaching has often wished we’d kept a record of famous, executive leader retorts. We would not do this to be snarky, of course, but to show our clients how their perception of the world had changed over time.
An executive leader comes to mind who first walked into the office rather “down in the dumps.” Slouched over and not to eager to engage, the executive had, admittedly, gone through a rough period of organizational change. The banking executive had turned cynical and was perhaps on the edge of losing status and even the position in the company.
As to the retort, when we spoke of our unique approach at VIM Executive Coaching, it was sort of taken in and acknowledged, but then dismissed with a wave of the hand. The executive talked of having taken numerous executive leadership “courses” both face-to-face and in many virtual sessions then said, “It’s all this, that, or the other thing, with you guys, whatever!”
Respond, Don’t React
And we understood. We simply smiled. In what manner would we have responded in any case? The executive was “defeated.” The company she had loved was the victim of an unpleasant takeover. Friends were fleeing, benefits were about to undergo change, the future was uncertain and, despite the perception that she had “done everything right,” taken on every project, volunteered for numerous company projects and charitable events, it seemed to not make a difference.
“They took my life.”
We understood that too. The investment in a career is more than dollars and cents – or any currency. To fight someone by saying, “Oh, that’s where you’re wrong about us,” or “Don’t you see how special where are?” would have been counter-productive.
Instead, we “breathed along with her.” For to not be compassionate when compassion is needed, is the biggest executive leadership coaching failure of all. Unfortunately, compassion is frequently in short supply in modern-day corporations; compassion has dimmed between an over-reliance on technology and an inadequate and troubling reaction to stress.
We let her openly express herself and then we openly responded that we understood what she was going through, and wasn’t at fault that things turned out they did, but most important that we sincerely believed we could help her. However, we made it clear that VIM Executive Coaching is not in the “miracle business.” We don’t offer a quick and easy fix, a set of podcasts and books or a set of celebrity endorsements.
What we endorse is greater mindfulness leading to personal authenticity so executives can come to understand the best path for their work-life and for their situation.
On the Road
On the road to greater authenticity, we must all come to know the most important executive leader of all: ourselves. We must get to know that person and ultimately to make friends with that person. We must do so without trepidation, arrogance or excuses. All of the elements we need are looking back at us in the mirror. We may have trouble finding them at first, but they are there.
No two of us become executive leaders in the same, cookie cutter fashion. And, in that development, we develop our unique rough spots and shining lights. By being more mindful we can’t approach life by saying “This, That, or The Other Thing, Whatever!”
We must make a statement of “This is who I am as a leader – and as an authentic person.” If we are able to do that, we can weather any storm that comes our way.