Executive leaders come to VIM Executive Coaching for many different reasons. Some complaints are more “commonplace,” others are more obscure. Of course, to the executive leader who is going through a particular challenge, there is no common problem.
Not long ago, an executive arrived at our office, threw up her hands and said, “I’m talking, but no one is listening. It’s like an epidemic of hearing impairment.” She wondered if it might be a “gender issue.” While we never rule out anything, we did note that several “C-level” individuals (including the COO) were women.
“Then what is it?” she mused. “I give directions no one follows them. I ask for status reports, they are late. I schedule meetings, no one is prepared, and on and on.”
Who are You?
We asked her a question, not as a challenge and certainly not a judgment, that was simple and direct: “Who are you?”
As with most managers, she immediately answered with a detailed job description, number of direct reports, years on the job and all of those resume particulars. It’s understandable, at work, whatever that work may be, we are often defined by what we do, not who we are. In her case, as Director of IT and Human Resources, she could happily describe her defined role but that didn’t answer our question.
When we investigated, she answered that in her role it was necessary to be everything to everyone. She could neither talk to nor relate to a programmer as she could people in benefits.
“They don’t even speak the same language,” she laughed. “It’s techies versus tree huggers. That’s just for starters.”
“Does everyone speak and understand the same language?”
“Of course, they do. They just don’t understand my language.
And there’s the Problem
“Well, what is your language? And again, who are you?”
The skillsets of an HR benefits expert and those of a programmer are obviously different. And while we let the “tree hugger” reference pass, the fact is that understanding skillset is not the same as authentically communicating with others.
A similar personnel issue in either department in terms of dynamic, is largely identical. How an executive leader deals with issues cannot be modified because of a built-in bias, or believing that each person requires a different voice.
It speaks to the “Who are you?” question.
Despite different departments and different skillsets, an executive leader can’t knee-jerk react one way to one situation and then assume an entirely different reaction to the other. In regard to the “I’m talking, but no one is listening,” comment, it is no wonder. If the executive leader is not mindful or in any way grounded, if she or he changes from one moment to the next, how is anyone to take the leader seriously?
It is not about reaction, but response. The executive leader’s choice of response must be consistent., not hot and cold, not one reaction or another. The authentic leader responds from an inner, mindful and authentic place. To not be in that space, is to cause confusion and ultimately tunes people out.
VIM Executive Coaching strives to coach mindful, responsive leaders no matter what situation appears, in what setting. It is not a matter of “language,” it must be about authenticity. The only response to a workplace challenge is a consistent and authentic response.