On a recent, rainy spring evening at the Denver offices of VIM Executive Coaching, “an old friend” was heard drifting from the speakers and causing more than a bit of nostalgia: Bob Dylan’s iconic song, “Shelter from the Storm.”
The song touched us, as just a few days before, an executive leader came in for a meeting and it was clear that she was having a tough time of it. Her division was about to be absorbed as part of a hostile acquisition, her staff was in upheaval and the products she had labored long and hard to bring to market, were “suddenly credited” to the executive vice president.
She looked across from us and expressed a sentiment reminiscent of Dylan’s lyrics: “I need safe harbor, there’s no place in my company where I can find calm.”
We’ve All Been There
Any executive leader, in virtually every industry, has felt the same emotions as our client. Regardless of gender, age or any other factor, having feelings of the walls caving in on us or the awful emotion of seeing someone take all of the credit for our labors, is almost guaranteed to knock the wind out of us. Then there is the dreadful realization that a staff we might have nurtured, indeed hired, is unduly angry at us; isolating us; and pledging “undying loyalty” to others to gain advantage, is hurtful to say the least.
We indeed seek shelter from a storm.
Yes, we can begin dusting off the resume, contacting associates in the industry (or allied industries) and even drop subtle hints to our “friendly competitors,” but for the short-term, and sometimes, not so short a term, what can be done to give ourselves space?
By the way, what has just been glossed over as “having the wind knocked out of us” is admittedly, being a politely kind descriptor. Some executive leaders internalize the pain of being cut-off and demeaned to such an extent that they never quite recover from the pain. We would never want that to happen to you.
The Shelter is Inside
Sadly, far too many executive leaders have fought hostile changes through destructive behaviors. These behaviors might include fighting hostility with increasing anger of their own, substance abuse, inappropriate or borderline abusive comments, unwinnable litigation and other tactics including gossip bordering on scandal and defamation. The fight, as many have found out, is almost impossible to win. It is difficult to find comfort when simultaneously fighting numerous forces seeking to create a situation to make the executive as uncomfortable as possible.
The key to finding safe harbor, to seeking a shelter from the storm, is through mindfulness. The more authentic responses the executive can develop, the more diminished the storm will be. The more the cultivation of mindfulness through meditation and personal work, the more real and less reactive you will become.
There may be fights that cannot be won on the first go-around but if a truth is stated clearly, authentically and accurately, it cannot be defeated. However, getting to that place requires work. The mindful, authentic executive leader is strengthened against any storm. The angry, reactive executive will eventually be battered by it.
VIM Executive Coaching was able to help the executive who “sought shelter.” She was able to see her situation more clearly and calmly. We are pleased to report she is actively pursuing opportunities from organizations who clearly see her authenticity, compassion and kind responses to what had occurred to her. Interestingly, the more mindful she has become, the more her staff has come to understand that she is an excellent leader. However, we have a feeling she will be moving on and her current organization will lose. There is no doubt she will be successful.
She has indeed found shelter from the storm.