VIM Executive Coaching can mark its time from the day of the day planner to the current era of the hand-held digital device. It’s been a rather interesting ride. Back in the day, we did work with executive leaders who, from time to time, lost various memo pads, executive calendars, planners and the like but we don’t remember anyone being overly frenetic about it. In fact, other than a brief mention: “Oh, can’t believe I lost my planner in the Midway Airport!” People carried on quite nicely.
We reflect on that here, as recently a fit-to-be-tied executive, based in San Francisco, was almost inconsolable on a virtual call. He misplaced his cellphone while on a trip and it was more than bad luck for him, but a life catastrophe. He told us that his whole life was on that phone and that nothing anyone could say or do, made it better. In fact, he conceded that he snapped at several employees that morning because he was so miserable.
He conceded that the phone was attached to him, like part of his body.
“You don’t understand,” he interjected, “The phone wakes me up, keeps my appointments, helps me track projects, has a whole bunch of notes, my portfolio and it’s like a friend. You know what I mean?”
Take a Breath
After asking him if he disabled the device – he said “Yes,” – it was clear enough that there was nothing more to be done other than the choice to buy a new digital device. Much of his information, of course, could be retrieved.
What bothered us after the initial commiseration, was that he had allowed this loss to not only plague him for days, but that he had permitted the device to take on such proportions that it affected his relationships with subordinates. In fact, he placed a lot of his life, including his mindfulness and awareness onto the printed circuitry.
While we will concede he was awakened and put to sleep by the device, and that it tracked his Fantasy Football leagues and expenses, it was not really his friend; not even close. In fact, it had the opposite effect. It isolated him (he conceded) to the point where he spent greater and greater amounts of time staring at the screen.
In fact, he was often distracted in meetings and did not genuinely relate to questions being asked of him. He is hardly alone. As an aside, we recently read an article more than suggesting that industrial psychologists intentionally design digital devices to be addictive.
However, that taken into account, it has been disturbing to us at VIM Executive Coaching, the disconnection from people in favor of the over-reliance on the digital. For if there was ever a time when mindfulness, authenticity and sincere response was needed, it is now.
There is nothing digital that can substitute for mindfulness; there is no reaction (“he snapped at several employees”) that can substitute for an authentic response. Given the current state of the pandemic, semi-locked-down, world, for an executive leader to snap at employees needing his or her authentic response, because of a missing cell phone is not suitable.
We have several clients in Silicon Valley and other hi-tech centers. No one understands the importance of the digital world more than we do however, no one understands more the pitfalls of the digital over the human connection.
We have entered a world of uncertainty. What is certain is that the greatest goal of every executive leader is mindfulness, self-awareness and authenticity. We are thankful there is no App for that.